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Anything but Routine

December 6, 2008

The other day, I was filling out a “sensory profile” on the boy for his OT. I was reading the questions out to Mr. IT in some effort to include him in the process. I’m still not sure why I did this. I’d read the question, wait for his answer, and then say something to the tune of “are you kidding? Of course he does that!” If I wanted to do it myself, I should have. It wasn’t really a moment I should have been berating him.

Anyhow, when it came to the entry, “Your child does not handle changes in routine well – always, sometimes, often, rarely, never”, that was where we differed the most. Mr. IT said never, and I said, “HA! Always.” The evidence, as I see it:

* When Mr. IT greets Boy in the crib in the morning, he goes ape. Screams, yells, threatens to cough up blood, you name it. He says I’m the only one who can wake him up. I just think he doesn’t like Daddy in the morning.

* If anyone but Grandma or his babysitter puts him on the school bus, it’s a guarantee of a food stomping, screaming fit. I did it on Friday to help my mom out, and he was NOT amused.

* Boy does best when he does everything at normal times. If not, you’re just stamping your passport to fussy town.

Let’s just say that I was filling out the form, so my judgement prevailed. But then, what does it matter?  What are we trying to learn from the questionnaire?

After a particularly traumatic music class, I confided in a co-worker that I felt that Boy was so out of place in that environment. He either stared out the window at passing cars and trains, or sat under the table trying to figure out how it was put together. He didn’t sing, clap or dance, and seemed really out of it. I refused to give up on the class, because the point of this particular group is that any kid can come in, do what they want, and they’re a part of it. They don’t have to sing along or play an instrument to be considered a participant. Pretty low bar, and I was all for it.

When Girl was his age, I used to take her many places. I wouldn’t hesitate to take her to any new environment. By the time she was as old as Boy is now, we had already seen “Blues Clues” Live and movies. I cannot imagine Boy existing in these environments. Heck, he can barely be contained going to the mall, I’m certainly not going to subject him to a loud, dark place.

Co-worked suggested I read “The Out of Sync Child.” I’ve just gotten into it, but I can see a lot of Boy in there.  SPD isn’t the same in every kid, but it’s interesting to see how he is affected by various things.  I’ve actually added it as a category here on the blog, since his hypotonia is getting better.  He still needs his PT and OT, but he’s getting a lot stronger.  He’s on the low end of the weight charts, which I attribute to all his therapy.  We have to make more of an effort to start fattening him up, just like the proverbial Christmas goose.   Needless to say, that’s not something we have a lot of experience with around here. 

 Hopefully, through my research, and that of his therapists, we can come up with ways to help him cope with this.  THEN, maybe he could handle a change in his routine.  At least every once in a while.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. azurcher2 permalink
    December 6, 2008 5:36 pm

    I’ve heard positive things about the book you mentioned – it was one that parents would frequently ask for, specifically, back in my bookstore days.

    As far as the weight gaining – it is an ever-present goal for us with A. We’ve had the most success with Carnation Instant Breakfasts once a day. They seem to give her the extra calories she needs and just a little boost to help gain some much-needed weight. I was hesitant, at first, because A loves regular milk and I didn’t want her to start only liking chocolate milk (I hate milk so I am overjoyed that she loves it). She seems to do fine and will ask for regular milk as often as the chocolate. We use the hormone free kind so I don’t worry that she is getting too much of the stuff.

    Keep up the good work with ITBoy!

  2. December 6, 2008 9:14 pm

    Carnation Instant Breakfast = who knew? Think that would work for a 2 year old? I’m willing to try it. I think there is a vanilla version. You mix it with milk? Thanks!

  3. Dad permalink
    December 11, 2008 1:21 pm

    I think you remember with rose glasses. I seem to remember a time when Carol & I took her to see a show while you were working at a booth in Hoston (she was already in school). Girl lasted three minutes before she erupted. Give Boy a break. At least let him get to three before you enroll him in College.

  4. December 15, 2008 4:56 pm

    Your story about music class is *just* like my son. He would hid under the table for the first 25 minutes of a 45 minute Kindermusik class. We had done the class as a “mommy and me” thing for over a year, and he graduated to the next step, and hated it. He was actually diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, if you can imagine that on a 4yo boy. Sigh. We have learned to roll with the punches and do a lot of mental prep. Plus we get aisle seats everywhere we go!

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