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Letting it go

January 24, 2008

Tonight’s lineup for once has nothing to do with getting Mr IT fed, forcing Little IT into the shower, or crawling all over the house retrieving IT Boy’s lost play balls.  No, I’m heading to something called MOON*Flow*Glow.  It’s an evening of “candlelight yoga to live percussion, guided relaxation & meditation with reflexology and scalp massage.”  It’s offered once a month around the full moon time by the yoga teacher from my gym at another location in town.  It’s usually been on a Sunday night, when I have no intention to trek across state lines to get into Down Dog.  But this month, it’s on a Thursday.  Hooray!

I do yoga about once a week at my gym.  It’s a “strong vinyasa flow” style class, and I really enjoy it.  Yes, we say “Namaste” and “Om” chant, but that’s not really what it’s about for me.  It’s moving in a way I don’t in everyday life, it’s clearing a few cobwebs out of my head, and it’s doing something that it so different from my other workouts that does it for me.  Some people are surprised to find snarky-moi grooving with the shanti vibe, but I’m a huge fan and the practice has made a difference in my mind and my body.   

On Tuesday, I got the email from the yogini with the details for the event.  I quickly scanned through the email to figure out where, when, and what I needed to bring.  A woman who sits near me is going also.  She came in soon after the email went out and asked me if I had done my “word which you’re ready to release”.  Apparently, in my rush to see if they actually put a ratio of massage therapists to clients in the email, I neglected to see the part about how we should meditate before the event on qualities we see reflected in ourselves and those which we wish to release.  Or something like that. 

Admittedly, I’m way too hyped up on the idea of someone rubbing my feet to focus on that.  But my office mate, who is from California, takes these things serious.  Me, the cynical New Yorker, is really jsut hoping that all the sangria I ingested last night will be out of my system by nightfall and that I don’t fall asleep while in corpse pose. 

I’m not surprised about her “adultness” in regards to the event.  The one time I tried to take yoga and mediation in a group setting, she was in the class and seemed to do really well with it.  I used the time to sort grocery lists, plan which magazines I’d be buying for the commute home, and debate who was really the cuter member of The Police (Stewart won over Sting every time).  Try and try, but I just couldn’t get to that place where you clear your head and let things go.  Still can’t. 

Maybe that’s the problem at the root of it all.  If I can’t find time for being with myself, focused on myself, who will?  I’m a big believer in the oxygen mask theory of family – get your mask on before you pass out, and then work to save the rest of the family.  I’m not following that as much as I should.  Maybe Moon*Flow*Blow*Day Glo is the start of treating myself with more respect, reflecting more on what I need to do to better myself.  New Year’s resolutions and all that crap.  Maybe the phrase on the paper that I’m going to bring is “letting go” (it’s supposed to be for my eyes only, but don’t mind sharing).  I doubt I’m going to start full moon chanting and all, but baby steps all add up. 

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