Last year, I was fortunate to attend BlogHer Business.  At that point, it was a 2 day conference held in winter in NYC.  I was so jazzed about it, and the inspiration it gave me, that I was moved to write this and this post.

This year, I attended BlogHer Business 2009.  It was held last week as a 1/2 day conference the day before BlogHer 09 in Chicago.  Even though it was held before the conference, it felt very much like an afterthought.

I didn’t plan on writing a blog post about it so soon, but I had many people, some from my company, some who follow me on Twitter, ask about the conference and whether they should send in their registration for next year.  I felt an obligation to admit that this year was in no way the experience I hoped for.  I have a LOT of good things to say about BlogHer, and those were covered in this post.

So what was different, other than quantity of session time?  Honestly, it’s hard to imagine the conference going in this direction after the razor-sharp focus it had in 2008. The day started with Lisa, Jory and Elisa reviewing the latest study of the social media habits of women.  All good information, and it was interesting to see what trends were continuing from the year before.

Then, Jory kicked off the first of 5 case studies of successful blogger outreach and social campaigns.  In 2008, we had savvy marketers partnered with social media folks to truly dissect what made the campaign successful.  You walked out of each session understanding what they did, why they did it, what worked and what didn’t, and what they learned.  This go around, it was very “view from 30,000 feet”,  mostly what happened, without going into enough depth about why the campaigns were successful and what the take aways were.  That theme continued through the rest of the case studies.  I hate to use the word “fluff”, as I think the term “not enough meat” would be appropriate.  It just didn’t give me the background and the information I needed to really understand these campaigns to the fullest.

What particularly annoyed me was the feeling that the whole day was a big old ad for the BlogHer Network.  Time and time again we learned that the PR/marketing folks in the case studies chose to do their outreach and advertising through the BlogHer Network.  As well, the social media study in the beginning repeatedly pointed out how much more in tune with the online world the BlogHer Network member is.  I have no problem with promotion like that, but generally when a marketer sits through something like that in media, it’s called an upfront, and I’m not charged $600 for the pleasure of hearing it.  I know that BlogHer is proud of their reach and all that they have accomplished in a short time, but there is a way to present it at a professional conference where it doesn’t come off as shilling.

An exception to pattern of the day would be Lisa Stone’s keynote with Lauren Zalaznick, president of NBC Universal Women and Lifestyle Entertainment Networks.  Yes, she was probably there because of BlogHer’s strategic partnership with iVillage, but that didn’t matter.  She was sharp, engaging and gave great insights into consumer behavior and how to keep marketing to the customer who is “recession proof.”  She’d be great anywhere.   I thought Lisa was a great interviewer for this discussion, and I definitely count it as the most worthwhile part of the day.

Even the networking, which last year was superb, was sub-par.  In my opinion, most of the attendees seemed a little out of it and were not energized for discussion.  I came away with a few contacts, but certainly not what I had in 2008.

So, count me in for BlogHer 2010.  But I’m honestly not sure what to do about BlogHer Business.  It should be so relevant to my business that I really shouldn’t miss it, but I don’t feel like wasting my time like I did this year.  I had a number of discussions with other people who attended BHB this year who felt very similarly to the way I did.  Will they blog about it?  Don’t know.   Will they talk to the organizers about it?  I hope so.  I certainly would welcome a conversation with anyone from BlogHer.  As one of the biggest champions of this conference, I as much as anyone would love to see it return to it’s former glory in 2010.  If I can be a part of that, great.  If not, at least I had the chance to give feedback.  I don’t want to start a flame war or be seen as a villian, just a humble marketer trying to get this all right.

*** In the spirit of full disclosure, my company was a BlogHer sponsor for the past 3 years and sponsored BlogHer Business in 2008*****

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If you’re following Twitter or the Blogosphere, you know that there is a LOT being said, in support of and critically speaking about the conference.  And that’s ok.  Unlike BlogHer Business, which I covered here, it was a really good experience.  I’ve come up with a few points I wanted to share, but really want to reserve the right to add more to the conversation.

First off – BlogHer will always be a must go for me, personally and professionally, because of the quality of the attendees there.  This year continued that tradition.

The people – without a doubt, this is the best part of BlogHer.  Where else can you find a group of 1500 women where you are almost guaranteed to have something in common with every one of them?  Case in point – the birds of a feather lunch.  I saw that there was an empty slot, so I wrote in a lunch topic – “Special Needs Parents.”  I returned about an hour later, expecting to see me sitting alone, but it turned out that the table was about full.  I had a lovely lunch with some amazing women and enjoyed learning all about their cool kids.  I’ll blog more about that in a separate post, but that’s the kind of thing that is just waiting for you at BlogHer.   You need to come out of your shell a bit and reach out – believe me, people will be right there with you, and you never know where a conversation will lead you.

Another case in point – sitting in the back of the Blog To Book session, I met Rock and Roll Mama (well, she came over to me when I was shaking my head about something a panelist said).  We got to talking, and she’s got some stuff brewing that I was certainly interesting.  Plus, she was a really cool chick.

I remember expecting this when I went to SXSW last year.  I loved the people I met, but I hated the sessions.  Of course, everyone told me when I got back from SXSW that it’s all about the conversations.  The panels are not where the action is, it’s in the interaction between attendees.  In return, I always used to say that the reason BlogHer kicks ass over SXSW is because it has great panels.  This year, not so much.  It seemed weird that the main tracks were divided into “Mommyblogging” and “the Business of You” and that was it.  The more diverse, interesting panels became Rooms of your Own.  This is a little hard to get across to someone who wasn’t there, but previous BH conference have had 4-5 main tracks, increasing the diversity of the conversations.  Most of the “Business of You” sessions didn’t strike the right chord – they either didn’t engage or were for someone looking for a 30,000 feet explanation.  I felt the Rooms of Your Own were the most interesting, yet the choice of the smaller, hotter, totally crowded rooms made it harder to attend and participate.  I hope that will change next year.  Kelly from Mocha Momma ran a GREAT panel that deserved a bigger audience.  Oh wait, she HAD that bigger audience, they were just in the hallway between that room and the Men of BlogHer session.

I heard great things about the International Activist presentations, but it was at a conflicted time so I didn’t attend.  Regretting that.

I didn’t attend many of the Geek Lab sessions – I went to one for WordPress, but the woman was talking at such a high level and getting frustrated when people didn’t understand what she was saying that I left for the beginning WordPress session.  This of course was too beginning as they were showing how to sign up for an account.  Something in the middle would have been nice, but hey, they were both carried out as advertised, so I cannot complain.

Swag = I am so sick of hearing about this.  Yes, I am a swag whore.  I got my coupon for a free pair of GAP jeans, several jars of P-Doh (what my son calls Play-Doh – too cute), and more.  I don’t judge anyone who takes it or hands it out.  I do wish the recycle suite were a true recycle suite, not just a handful of tables in a dark corner of the expo hall.  Last year, Swaggle ran it, and they took the time to organize it neatly.  I held up BlogHer as a model of progressive conference going in this regards.    This year, it was a messy dumping ground.   Go back to what it was, you were doing much better then!

The venue – good side, the hotel had some of the best food I have ever had at a conference.  Bad side, it was really do it yourself when it came to almost everything.  Call for bellman…call again for bellman….visit belldesk downstairs to hope and pray for bellman.  I had a problem with my room and it took MANY visits to the front desk to straighten that out.  I certainly do not blame BH for this – in fact one night when I was down there at midnight, I ran into Jory Des Jardins who kept apologizing to me for my problems.  SO NOT HER FAULT, but that was sweet to hear that from her.

Overall, it was a good conference.  I could also see this conference being expanded to 2 1/2 or even 3 days to get everything in.  I know that would up the costs, but I really felt like I was missing out on stuff, whether it was chit chatting with the other bloggers or a cool session.

Again, because I cannot say it enough or as clearly, BlogHer will always be a must go for me, personally and professionally, because of the quality of the attendees there.

But enough about me…what did you think?

*** In the spirit of full disclosure, my company was a BlogHer sponsor for the past 3 years and sponsored BlogHer Business in 2008*****

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I’m back from BlogHer 09 (which given my tweets of the past few days, I am surprised I did not automatically call #blogher09 here) and starting to process what went on.  I have a unique perspective, in that I attend BlogHer both as a blogger, and a female (dare I say “Mommy”?) blogger, but also as a marketer and social media enthusiast. There are so many things that I want to get out of the conference – I want great sessions, opportunities to meet writers I haven’t encountered before and to see the bloggers I read all the time, AND to make contacts to further my business.  I ask a lot of BlogHer, and in return, it takes me a while to think about it.

However, there is one area of BlogHer that I won’t have to think about much.  Right now, it’s  standing out, not just in my mind, but on the posts of many who attended the conference.

SPONSORSHIP – it’s the new dirty word in the Blogosphere.

Sponsorship essentially means a blogger has gotten conference, hotel and/or airfare or other travel expenses to BlogHer paid for.  In return, the expectations are mixed.  Maybe you wear a t-shirt from the sponsor.  You might be asked to hand out postcards directing you to a URL or a conference.  Perhaps you go to parties and act as a brand ambassador.  Whatever.  You’re there for someone else as well as yourself.

But should it be the “Scarlet S” if you will?  I can’t really judge.  I was lucky enough this year to have my work pay for all conference related expenses.  If I had to do this on my own, I’m not sure I would have paid the money in these economic times.  On the one hand, I congratulate these enterprising women who have found a way to get what they want.

Although, on the other hand, I must question some of them for their tactics.  Here at Wiley, I often give tutorials to colleagues on social media best practices.   I talk about how to listen to your customers first before you engage with them online.  I always say it’s just like a cocktail party with people you don’t know. Would you jump right into a circle of folks and exclaim, “HI!  I’M ELLEN!  I LIKE BASEBALL AND PUPPIES AND MARGARITAS!  LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT DUMMIES BOOKS!”  No, of course you wouldn’t.  People laugh at that example.  “As if!”

Yet that’s just what many of these sponsored women were doing at the conference!  Just as an example, I was sitting at a table during breakfast getting to know some of my fellow bloggers when a woman dropped onto the table and started shilling for some web site.  Didn’t say hi, didn’t listen to even think if we would be interested in the site, just barged right in.  In another case, I stopped a woman in the hallway because she was wearing a T-shirt from a PR agency down the block from me.  I asked if she worked for the agency (there isn’t that much business like PR and publishing in Hoboken and figured we might have friends in common.)  She said no, she didn’t work there, but the agency was sponsoring her, and wouldn’t I like to enter this contest where I could win….ahhh, not sure what I could have won, I just walked away shaking my head at that point.

What bothers me is these are the people who should know better.  Don’t break the most fundamental rules of social networking just because someone is paying your way.   If you want to make your sponsorship work, tone it down at the beginning.  Get to know a fellow blogger before you make your pitch.  She may or may not be interested, and if she isn’t, you’re going to most likely lose any chance to connect with her on any level.

A better example to share came from Friday afternoon.  I was talking to a charming woman outside one of the suites when she casually mentioned she had asked a major discount retailer to sponsor her.  I immediately mentioned that said discoutnted retailer was where I had bought my shirt, but the store has a different name in the UK, and I really like shopping there….and we went on and on.  We had a connection before, and it was actually enhanced when we talked further.  She didn’t push it on me, and as such, I opened the door to the conversation.

I certainly hope that anyone representing a company or product think careful about how they will be presenting themselves at BlogHer 10 and beyond.  There’s a lot riding on this if we are to be taken seriously as a demographic, by outsiders but also from within.

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I’m almost through with BlogHer Business and am getting ready for the mania of BlogHer 09 tomorrow and Saturday.  It’s kind of overwhelming and comforting, new and yet familiar.  I’m happy to see some old friends and meet some new faces.  I’m especially glad to have my co-workers here – always good to have some wingwomen.   A few random thoughts…

* She was late for the flight.  She had to be.  Before my flight took off, a woman ran on board with her infant son, followed closely by a flight attendant holding her bags.  She was out of breath, and said that she had to make a run for it.  Her shirt had ridden up, and you could see the “tiger claw marks” on her stomach, the stretch marks of motherhood.  But she was so frazzled as she didn’t care.  The flight attendant, who was kind of rude to other passengers, immediately let her sit down and then brought her a cup of water.  She sat in the bulkhead seats opposite mine.  I offered her my seat (I had the middle seat in my row empty).  A woman next to her offered to hold her boy while she settled.  All three of us – women who had been there, reaching out and making sure that one of our own was taken care of.  The mom was unfortunately too overwhelmed to take advantage of the situation, but she soon settled down while she and her boy napped.  It was nice to see people rallying to help the mom, rather than cursing the arrival of a little person in their aisle.

* Had dinner with an old friend last night.  Haven’t seen him in ages.  He mentioned how he continually uses one some of my wisdom…that is, if you are at a hotel, you do NOT always have to take the room they give you.  I had to laugh – he and I were on the STM conference for a while, and we went to many, many cities together.  I flashed back to times in cities like Cincinatti, Indianapolis, San Francisco, and Seattle, and remembered how often I would be given a room, would go up and check it out, and return to the front desk unsatisfied and demanding of a new abode for the trip.  He said that before me, he didn’t know you could do that.  Well, the IT Girl is here to remind you that you should never accept a sub par room at a hotel!  I’m not saying to demand a suite wherever you go (unless you choose to go that way).  I am saying that if you get to your room and it’s not to your liking (ex. poor air conditioning, in a heavily trafficked corridor) ask to be moved!  I recommend that as soon as you get your room, check it out and make sure you’re going to be happy in there.  WISH I had done that yesterday – my room here at the Sheraton was right next to the elevators, and the noise when I tried to go to sleep was deafening.  I went looking for a new room at midnight, but they had nothing that wasn’t near the elevator.  I was moved today, thankfully, but not until I lost a night’s sleep.

* Is BlogHer at the tipping point?  Are there so many parties, mommy-blogger outreach projects, and inflated expecations that can never be met?  Only the next two days, and carefuly reflection after the event will tell.

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Last Friday, a call went out via @skydiver on Twitter for ordinary people to comment on the John Edwards cheating allegations and his forthcoming interview confession.  I sent a note to the reporter with some thoughts, and after a follow-up phonecall with her, I wound up quoted in the piece.

Like many in Chicago at BlogHer 07, I was charmed and inspired by this warm, intelligent and witty woman.  Why can’t we be voting for her, we said repeatedly to each other after her keynote.  When she was kind enough to join us at the closing reception, I got a chance to talk with her one-on-one and she was gracious enough to pose for a picture with Little IT and a most squirmy IT Boy.  Notice him heading straight for her necklace.  She took it all in stride – boys will be boys, I believe she said. 

Mrs. Edwards and the family

Like many, we took a fall with her when the allegations about her husband’s extramarital affair came to light.  I’m not sure what was more head-shaking – hearing that he did this when she was fighting cancer, or that she was in on the cover up.  It’s disappointing, for sure, any way you slice it.  I for one am sorry that she had to deal with it then, and has to deal with this now.  Boys will be boys?  She deserves better.

Since people I work with have been asking for a BlogHer recap from me, I figured I better put something up here.  And what’s better than a post, that requires BIG THOUGHTS?  How about some awesome photos of me hobnobbing with celebrities?

Susan Etlinger, Charlene Li and me

This was after the MommyBlogging, Radical Act or Not, Let’s Discuss session.  Susan, who was to moderate her own panel the next day,  waited with me to get a picture with Charlene.  Fittingly, it was her last day at Forrester Research.  I’m pretty convinced Charlene was a little afraid of me.  You see, fangirls are to Dooce as I am to Charlene.  She may have thought me spooky, she may not have.  I’ll know for sure when I get served with that restraining order. 

Me and Y, down by the schoolyard

For some reason, 2 cosmos gave me the courage to go up to Y (who I met at last year’s BlogHer, and is tight with the Moxie Girls) and ask for a photo.  She’s kind of a big deal in this community, but when you meet her she’s sweet as sugar and you really just want to hug her (and y’all know how I feel about the hugging).  I think we both look pretty damn hot, despite the fact that my psycho-stalker aura is starting to come through.  I ended up the night eating cheeseburgers with her in Alpha Mom’s suite.  That’s a BlogHer thing, you kinda have to be there.

Just a couple of girls with cheeseburgers

I have to say, I love the new WordPress way of putting captions below the photos.  Anyhoo, that’s me and Tracee Sioux, who is an awesome new blogging buddy of mine.  We took about 10 photos before we got to ones where I didn’t look scary, but could have used a little lipstick.  Tracee’s just real cute, period, and hopefully, some of it rubbed off on me.

Charlies Angels Redux

Stephanie Klein’s husband was cool enough to take a picture of her with Neeti Maddan and me.  Neeti went to school with him, so they’re buds.  I was just an interloper.  This was after 2 cosmos + no food.  Not sure I even knew where I was at this point.

And finally, where would “Confessions” BlogHer recap be without a shot of my biggest celebrity encounter?

Aren't we cute together?

I love me the blue Muppets.  I would have posted the video, but it was enough of a struggle to talk to a piece of blue shag carpet without staring at the guy with his hand up Grover’s behind, and look cute at the same time.  Some things are going to have to remain un-recapped.

While I was attending BlogHer this past weekend (“Really?  You were there, because I haven’t read all that much about it on your blog or anywhere else!”) my colleague David was attending what was billed as the Last HOPE conference.   We both had the time of our lives at our respective conferences, but as we chatted real time we realized we were having very different experiences.  While BlogHer can be pink, soft, fluffy and pretty-smelling, HOPE seemed to be filled with guys in black t-shirts who didn’t smell all that good.  Nothing wrong with that in my book.  But of course, I wasn’t there, so I asked David to do a little guest posting on the blog with his report, in an effort to appeal to the testosterone laden among my readership.  Truth be told, I would have gone here in a second.  It’s in my backyard.  It’s my people.  But BlogHer got me first.  So HOPE got David.

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The Last HOPE Conference ran last weekend in NYC, attracting three thousand hackers from around the world.  The conference title is an acronym for Hackers On Planet Earth, and this was the “Last” HOPE because the hotel it has been in since 1994 is being replaced by retail space.

HOPE is run by Wiley author Emmanuel Goldstein, who also is the founder and editor  of 2600, the Hacker Quarterly, and the host of the weekly radio program Off the Hook.  To these attendees, he is the boy that pulled the sword from the stone, the hobbit that can be trusted with The One Ring, and the Rebel Alliance’s only hope against the Sith Lords.  Wiley was fortunate enough to sign Emmanuel to write The Best of 2600, which shipped just two weeks prior to the show.

While I was at the show to launch the book, and hundreds of attendees gladly lined up to buy that book, there was so much more going on than book sales.  Sessions started at 10 am on Friday and ran around the clock until Sunday afternoon.   I’ll get to the sessions shortly, but first a bit more about the ‘distractions’.  There were exhibitors selling soldering kits, lockpick tools, t-shirts, and assorted swag.  There was a huge Lego area for lonely boys to build dinosaurs and robots and such.  The relax & recharge area featured over a dozen hammocks.  I was amazed that these were frequently full; who sleeps in a hammock that a strange hacker was just drooling in?  One of the most exciting areas was Lockpick Village.  In this corner of the hotel vendors and hobbyists mixed, selling lockpicking tools and how-to manuals, or refining their skills with an assortment of locks.  I watched in amusement as an eight year old boy received and totally absorbed a lockpicking lesson; that kid’s teachers don’t stand a chance.

I was running the Wiley table solo, so I couldn’t get to sessions.  I would have loved to have attended the Biohacking session, which promised exciting new follow-ups to questions raised in the 2006 session “Sex Hacking”.  There was a session that discussed all of the many data-filled portable devices carried by business travelers, and what fun a bored hacker might have with these devices hanging out at a restaurant or an airport.  Another session talked about how to get out of the Feds’ new high-tech handcuffs.  The description of that session was priceless, and included this line: “everybody knows how to get out of the cuffs that local law enforcement uses, but the Feds have started to use new high-tech restraints.  Stop by and learn all about the design strengths and vulnerabilities of these new cuffs…”

If somebody manages to pull together another HOPE Conference after the hotel turns into a Claire’s Boutique, here are some tips for future attendees:

·         Be anonymous.  The badges were tombstone-shaped and no badge had a name on it.  Which reminds me, here’s a shout-out to my new friends Bunny, Shogun, Phreak, and Ph00zball; keep it real, players.
·         Wear black.  T-shirts are the way to go, and be sure to hit the Think Geek t-shirt store before heading out.  Favorite phrases on t-shirts:  “I think that stripper really liked me”  and “Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm)”
·         Bring Red Bull, beef jerky, and adult diapers.  You really don’t want to use the restroom there.

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Thanks David.  That was more than I “hoped” for, especially that last line.  But don’t despair, HOPE appears to be poised to be reborn from the ashes….the NEXT HOPE is scheduled for 2010.  Mark your calendars now!

Being on the Blog to Book panel was more amazing than I could imagine. I was so nervous, but it seemed to go well. I’m writing this from the closing keynote where I’m half listening, half reading Tweets about what people thought of the session. The response was amazing, overwhelming, and most humbling.

For those who could not attend, you were missed. But you can view the transcript thanks to a very thoughtful live blogger.

For those visiting my site after the session, welcome.  This is a rather eclectic blog that isn’t necessarily all things to all people, but if you look at the tag cloud and the blog roll, you’ll probably find something that you’re looking for.  If you have a question I didn’t answer, ASK IT IN THE COMMENTS SESSION!  75 minutes have never went by so quickly, and I know we didn’t cover half of what we wanted to.  We did get some really good questions so I hope people found it useful.

I just attended day 1 of BlogHer and I’m very happy to say it’s all I hoped it would be.

The last panel of the day (for me at least) was Mommyblogging: Mirrors: Ours, The Media’s, Our Cultures, Our Kids. The women who were on the panel were sharp, insightful, and very empowering.

People who know me know that my kids are everything.  Like many women my age, I didn’t grow up in an environment that made me feel confident about my body and myself.  I’m getting there, but it takes time.  My main goal with my son and daughter is to make them feel confident about themselves.  Strong, confident and healthy kids – nothing would make me prouder.  I know the biggest message I got in the session was that in order to break the cycle, I have to start accepting myself, and that will carry through, not just to my daughter but to my son as well.

Where to find inspiration for this idea?  You can’t do better than to start with the great blogs written by the women from this panel:

Mocha Momma

Empowering Girls

The Silent I

Body Impolitic

I got to chat with Tracee from Empowering Girls at the speakers information session.  Immediately I felt like she was one of my oldest friends.  She’s warm, funny and simply gorgeous in person.  I wish I could have time with all these women.

So many great quotes from this session.  So many great ideas.  Check out one or more of these blogs – you won’t be unmoved.

We’re just about one week, make that 7 days from BlogHer…and it’s time to get moving!

As you may know from my incessant blogging on the topic, I’m going to be speaking at BlogHer.  Not only that, I am moderating the panel.  Which means I have a good reason for the rash I just broke out into. 

But never fear, because as you can see from the description below, I have what has to be the coolest panelists hitting this session with me…