Side effect of BlogHer - more great blogs to read

I just attended day 1 of BlogHer and I’m very happy to say it’s all I hoped it would be.

The last panel of the day (for me at least) was Mommyblogging: Mirrors: Ours, The Media’s, Our Cultures, Our Kids. The women who were on the panel were sharp, insightful, and very empowering.

People who know me know that my kids are everything.  Like many women my age, I didn’t grow up in an environment that made me feel confident about my body and myself.  I’m getting there, but it takes time.  My main goal with my son and daughter is to make them feel confident about themselves.  Strong, confident and healthy kids - nothing would make me prouder.  I know the biggest message I got in the session was that in order to break the cycle, I have to start accepting myself, and that will carry through, not just to my daughter but to my son as well.

Where to find inspiration for this idea?  You can’t do better than to start with the great blogs written by the women from this panel:

Mocha Momma

Empowering Girls

The Silent I

Body Impolitic

I got to chat with Tracee from Empowering Girls at the speakers information session.  Immediately I felt like she was one of my oldest friends.  She’s warm, funny and simply gorgeous in person.  I wish I could have time with all these women.

So many great quotes from this session.  So many great ideas.  Check out one or more of these blogs - you won’t be unmoved.

 

Bon Anniversaire

We’re coming up on IT Boy’s second birthday, which means we’re starting to get 6 month progress reports from all of his therapists.  The first came yesterday from his PT.  Net net, he’s still in delay mode, but making progress, even if it’s not as much as we would like to see.  She was going over his results and pointed out that in one metric he was at the very “top end of poor” and all it would take was one percentile point to move him into “below average”.  You have to laugh at these things or you cry.  Can’t wait to see OT, Speech and special instruction next week.

Another anniversary, one I had not given much thought to, is being marked by Little IT.  She’s been making a friendship bracelet and when asked who it was for, she said it was an “anniversary” present for her best friend.  “It’s our 7 year anniversary, so we’re giving each other gifts to celebrate.”  I had to point out that they’ve actually known each other for 6 years, but that did little to dampen the enthusiasm.

Marking time, we are.

 

Go TEAM Go!

Catching up on some Google reader-subscribed blogs, I came across a great post from my buddy Kwana. 

First off, let me say that if I saw her at one of Little IT’s games, we’d totally hang.  She’s cool, smart and funny as heck. 

No, she’s not a baseball guru. But she’s there for her kid, and supporting him and that’s what matters. 

Ah, do I miss those Little League games.  For what is supposed to be a kid’s game, it’s really played pretty intensely in our little village.  Little IT played t-ball for one year, and then spent another year in softball before she decided to hang up her glove.  I coached t-ball but was pregnant with IT Boy during softball year so I had to sit out.   This was on top of my 3 but really 2 years coaching her soccer teams. 

The experience was a blast and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Most of the parents were great, amazing really. Supportive of my giving my time as a volunteer and helping their kids.  There were just a few that really needed some attitude adjustments.  

There was one dad who showed up at practices, I believe, to criticize how we were working with the kids on the field.  At the suggestion of my co-coach, we called him in it, and asked him to come out onto the field and help us out.  He declined, and seemed to get the message about “put up or shut up.”

I remember calling the t-ball parents at the start of the season, and hearing that one kid’s dad was the softball coach at the high school.  I panicked, thinking he’d be on us every game about what a poor coaching job we were doing.  I got him totally wrong.  The experience was exactly the opposite.  Apparently, he wanted to coach, but couldn’t commit the time, so he felt horribly guilty about not being a part of the team.  He was totally 100% supportive of our role as coach, and only came on the field when we begged him to help out.  As a fellow coach, he understood how to help us do our job and work with the kids, and I’m forever grateful to him for that. 

As a coach, I also saw first hand how there can only be one coach, and if you’re the parent in the stands, you aren’t the coach.  Yelling and screaming at your child to go right, turn left, run the ball, throw the ball is distracting, and in the case of soccer often runs contrary to what the coach is telling the kids.  I remember one game where the dad was yelling at his kid to run after the ball, being very specific about when and how.  At next break, the girl ran up to her dad and said what he was telling her to do was going to put her team offside, so she’s just going to listen to the coach from now on and not him.  Out of the mouths of babes.   Your child hears you, so think about what you’re saying.  Be supportive, but don’t try to do the coaches job.  Heck, relax and WATCH the game.  Your kids are young for such a short time, be sure to sit back and marvel in the splendor of it all.  It goes by too damn fast. 

Now, I’m off to find Kwana in her car to talk about the new Philipa Gregory book…

 

He’s a walking man

The biggest news in the world of IT Boy is his progress in walking.  He’s gone from cruising, and taking steps around the furniture, to walking distances, and now getting up on his own in the middle of the room and taking off.  It’s been a joy to see, going from wondering if he would ever walk to seeing him do it to chasing after him (he’s not really that fast, nor am I that slow, but still…)  His gait is not perfect - he tends to turn his feet inward (pronate?  prorate?  something) and he looks a little bowlegged.  His PT is wondering if he might need braces around his ankles to give him some support, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.  He’s up to 11 sessions of his various flavors of therapy per week.  It’s a lot, but progress is being made. 

I always said that before I had kids, when I would fantasize about what it was like to have a kid, one of my visions was always walking around holding the hand of my child.  It happened quickly with Little IT, and IT Boy certainly took his time, but it’s been every bit as rewarding.

 

In the swim of things

Yesterday, I took the day off to watch Little IT at a swim meet.  She’s on a summer swim team that our swim club sponsors.  It’s a great thing for many reasons.  It meshes well with her summer camp, where they don’t really move or get out much, but since the club is located right next to the camp site, they walk the kids back and forth so they can do both.  It ends up being a free hour long swim lesson with some really good coaches.  It’s great for building confidence in the kids, and it’s super exercise.  I myself would jump at doing it if I was Little IT’s age.

Little IT, however, did not want to do it this year.  There were a lot of reasons given, none of them that really resonated with me.  I’m certainly not one to push her into doing anything, but I couldn’t see a downside to doing the team.  One of her big issues was missing time at camp.  Apparently, some other kids last year would complain that she wasn’t there for certain activities and would make her feel bad because she missed them.  She also brought up wordworking, which she could do for the first time, and would take place at the same time as swim team. 

I decided to try something different, for me at least.  I offered a bribe.  I even called it a bribe.  My feeling was that if she decided to go for it, she was ok with it and just needed an extra push of confidence to try it.  Sure enough, she jumped at the bribe.  I told her that if she lasted the 3 weeks of practice and made it to the first meet, it would be a go.  And she did.  She’s made it to 2 meets even.  Truth be told, the first week was the worst.  The brother of a friend of hers who swims competitively on a year round team told her that he dreads the first two weeks of practice each year because you’ve had time off, are not used to the sport, and have to, sorry, get back into the swim of things.  She stuck with it, and she’s gotten some 2nd place ribbons, which she’s very proud of. 

Am I advocating bribery?  Sort of.  If it’s something your kid is never going to want to do, like Lacrosse is for my kid, it’s not worth it.  If it’s to encourage the kid to do something that you’re reasonably sure they’re going to like, and it’s going to give them extra motivation to get through the task, yes, do it.  I have a neighbor who did the team last year and was bribed financially by his uncle - $5 for a win, $3 for second place, etc.  He applied himself, and walked away with a lot of blue ribbons.  I’m not sure I would have gone that way, but my kid is different.  If that motivated her, maybe I would have tried it.  Net net, she’s getting good exercise, improving her swimming, and most of all having fun.  And I get to see her swim - nothing beats that.

 

required readings for summer travel

The website Delicious Baby just posted a great article on traveling with a food allergic child.  It’s one of the few sources I’ve found for information that gives you the feeling that “yes I can travel on an airplane and my child will survive.”  I remember reading something on a Disney-related site (written by a parent and not affiliated with Disney) that pretended to give info about how to handle food allergies at Disney, and it started out by saying “of course, with a food allergy you can’t fly…”  Not true, and Delicious Baby gives you great advice on how to do it successfully. 

In full disclosure, I am credited with contributing to the piece, but that doesn’t make it any less accurate. 

 

Cry Baby Cry

The IT Household has been held hostage by a tiny terror in footie pajamas. For a couple of MONTHS now, IT Boy has been having some issues in the slumber department. When we put him down in the crib at bedtime, he would stand up and scream, and sometimes throw up (”See what you made me do, parental units! I spewe on you!”) He would also frequently wake during the night and refuse to go back to sleep, unless we took him into our bed.

Yes, we turned Swedish. We were co-sleeping.

Mind you, if this is your parental choice, I applaud you for it. If it works for you and your kid(s), more power to you.

IT DOES NOT WORK FOR ME. It’s not in my parenting philosophy to have a kid in the bed with me. It goes against what I believe my role as a parent is. And I was causing me to miss much sleep. I don’t think IT Boy was sleeping that well himself, to tell the truth. It wasn’t working for us, it wasn’t working for him, so it really wasn’t working, period.

So last night, we embarked on Operation “Cry It Out”. I put the man down in the crib at 8:30, following a bath, massage, cup of milk, and a bottle. The screams were heartbreaking, but I was strong. I was going to see it out. A good time for my stubborn streak to reign supreme. Little IT was beside herself - she can’t handle hearing the brother cry. Mr. IT was not happy on two fronts - one, with the boy being upset, and two with the girl being in our room almost crying herself, about the crying. I stood firm, and around 11pm, the cries stopped. I quietly checked the room for breathing, and heard snoring, so I knew all was good. Guess what? He slept through the night. First time in ages. It was nice.

We’re doing it again tonight, and the next night, and the next night till this sticks. I’d love for other parents who have embarked on this mission to comment in with some best practices. IT Boy is too young to read Baby and Toddler Sleep Solutions For Dummies, but I will be leaving a copy of it by his crib, just in case he wants to read a little before bedtime.

 

radio silence

Sure, it’s been a long time since I posted.  But do you know what’s harder?  Writing that first post when you get back.  You want it to be pithy, important, and meaningful.  But in reality, you just want to “break the seal” and get back to business.  So here I go…

This week as a whole has been super busy.  I was traveling, with an overnight to Indy.  But the real energy was expended because Little IT had everything going on.  Her dance recital was Saturday, followed by her performance in “High School Musical”.  Yes, on the same day.  Yes, I sorta knew they would be the same day.  Yes, I sorta knew we’d cope.  We had 4 dress rehearsals the week before, which exhausted her to no end.  Somehow she got all her homework and piano practice in, but we decided to wait a week before she started practice for summer swim team.  Kid’s gotta breathe sometime, no? 

The performances were wonderful.  She has such a smile when she’s on stage, you can tell she adores what she’s doing.  Although IT Boy stole the show at both performances, first by burping in the ear of the guy in front of us, and then at the play when he got all excited seeing her on stage that he started to crack up, loudly enough so everyone in the theatre heard him.  These are special times, I tell you.

I promise, now that the seal has been broken, to post regular updates.  At least until the next business trip. 

 

and so it begins

If the lead up to Book Expo is any indication, this is going to be an interesting couple of days.

The flight was uneventful enough, but due to a strange collection of circumstances, my first stop leaving the airport was not to check into the hotel, but instead to settle into a seat at Hollywood Bowl to see Elvis Costello and The Police.  Yes, yes, I saw both acts last year, but…who cares!  The venue was beautiful and the performances even more so.   Elvis was wonderful, but it saddened me to see him as an opening act rather than the headliner that he truly is.  I try to think of this as a strong double bill, but Elvis playing in front of someone else’s equipment without effects made me feel like I was missing something.  Of course, he remedied that later in the evening, but that was a little too late for my jet-lagged brain to consider.  Sting, Stewart and Andy have only gotten better, and seemed to be having a blast.  That’s more than I can say for the lame-os at the Bowl - I actually got yelled at by a twentysomething for standing up and dancing.  Sheesh.

I started out the day getting my haircut.  Totally worth it, especially when a woman stopped me in FedEx and complimented me on her hair saying that’s the kind of cut she wants (it’s really not all that dramatic, btw.)  I then had a quick meeting with some partners, but made time before I hit the show floor to go to Sprinkles cupcakes get the cupcakes my friends are all raving about.  Yes, they were worth it.  Carrot cake for breakfast, red velvet for lunch.   Then, onto set up.  As I reminded my peeps, I was late, but I brought cupcakes, so everyone was happy. 

Even though you think the booth will never come together, it always seems to.  Tonight, we left it with some things left to do, but I think we’ll get it all done tomorrow.  Of course, we were not without a little drama.  I stopped at a cash machine and apparently left my ATM card in it.  Damn you BoA….  I also got a call from the babysitter that IT Boy had developed a weird rash all over.  Nothing seemed serious, but still, that’s the last thing you want to hear when you are thousands of miles away.  So, despite such inauspicious beginnings, I think we’re going to be ok.  Tweet you from BEA tomorrow!

 

Over the speed bump

IT Boy is making really good progress these days.  He’s walking, albeit only when we steady him into a standing position, but he can take a few steps by himself, which is huge.  He’s pointing up a storm, and learning to use his signs.  The only complaint I have is in the category of vocabulary.  Namely, his words for the family.  Seems that “dada” is now being supplemented by “papa”.  So, if you are keeping track at home, that makes:

Words that equal Daddy = 2

Words that equal Sister = 1

Words that equal Me = Zilch

I can be patient.  Really I can.  He’s got other words too:

Dog - said in response to anything with fur and four legs.  Bears, squirrels whatever.

Ball - whatever he wants to throw and hope that it rolls

Car - he now needs “man time” when we get home to walk around the car, feeling it and talking to the wheels.  This does not bode well for his midlife crisis.

Apple - said the other night, clear as a bell.  I did a 180 thinking it was Little IT, but it was him.

Door - we go in, we go out, you get the game

So, tomorrow is his collaboration meeting.  I expect no use of the “plateau” word, and only that he’s making great progress.  Or else.