Netiquette or just plain common sense?

Here’s a hint - if you’ve recently set up an email group list, it MIGHT be a good idea to email the people on your list and ask them to verify that they are getting your messages.  You MIGHT have misspelled their email address, or be using an old one.  This would mean that your recipients might miss important emails you are sending.  Because when you do send an email months after NOT verifying the list saying “if I don’t hear from you I will assume you will not be participating” I can’t very well reply if I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE FRIGGIN MESSAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE NOW CAN I???

This isn’t rocket science.  It’s common sense, a trait that seems to be lacking these days.

 End rant…begin coffee.

 

Here we go again…Ipso Facto Plaxo!

That may sound like an incantation from “Wicked”, but no, sadly, it isn’t.  It’s yet another site to for me to practice my social network skills on.  I had signed up for Plaxo a while back when it was simply a place to keep addresses updated.  Then = simple, understandable purpose.  Now, it’s trying to be LinkedIn or Facebook or who knows what.  I tried to ignore it, but then I started getting connection requests coming in and I thought that I better check in (especially with someone named “Wiley” sent me a connection request.)  I claim somewhere to be a master of all things social networking - how can Plaxo elude me the way Twitter has? I clicked on the link to accept all of these, and it took me to a screen where the notice “that connection request has already been handled” came up.  Funny then that I cannot find these people in my connection list.  Did they try and connect and suddenly decide, nah, Ellen’s not my Plaxo type?  Did they fall into a Plaxo void?  No idea. 

I started with a whopping four connections (the usual Wiley suspects, my brother in law, and a friend from town.)  All of a sudden, I have 5 connect requests in my mailbox.  Why did Plaxo suddenly hit the radar screen for these folks?  I sent a note to the person who requested the most recent connection, who said he inadvertently requested connection with all his LinkedIn contacts.  That’s one way to build your network here, so I tried it and found a whopping 45 people on Plaxo connected to me already through LinkedIn.  So I intentionally sent connections to them.

So….now I’m connected, what should I be doing next?  This isn’t the most intuitive site.  I see a “Pulse Stream”  but so far only Jeff Pulver and Chris Webb have anything going in there.  Any suggestions from people who might have a better masterly of Plaxo than I of what to do next?  How to use this site for good, and not the evil that comes from time wasting?

 

Giving thanks

I was thumbing through a bunch of books in an airport bookstore the other day at the end of a business trip and I came across a book called, Thank You Power: Making the Science of Gratitude Work for You by Deborah Norville.  I thumbed through it and eventually bought it.  I read a little on the plane ride home and it’s a great reminder of how something so simple can make a huge difference in your life.  It’s a book that is faith-based, but somehow very applicable to heathens like me.   By thanking yourself, be grateful for who you are.  Thank others, be grateful for who you have as a part of your life. 

There is a parallel to this in business as well.  Thank those who work with and for you whenever possible.  It’s so simple but you’d be surprised how little it’s done in the workplace.  Also, people are surprised when I say this, but I find it almost impossible to offer a job to a candidate to does not send me a thank you note.  It doesn’t matter whether it is typed, emailed or handwritten, there must be a note, however brief.  I once got a job over other candidates simply because I found the hiring manager’s email address and emailed him a brief note of thanks.  That was unusual in 1993, not so much now.  These days, I actually prefer a small, tasteful handwritten note.  To me it means the person took the time to sit down and thoughtfully compose a note.  It’s a really nice touch and goes a long way with me.   

Of course, when I was reading the book, I remembered that I was supposed to take the lovely, monogrammed notes to write Thank You notes for IT Boy’s birthday presents.  Supposed to, but I forgot.  Bad mommy.  Note to self, get that done tonight!  Little IT Girl already did hers, so now I’m looking bad. 

 

Gotta dash?

Apparently, many of us won’t.  The Oxford English Dictionary has eliminated 16,000 hyphens from the new version of the Short OED (which is 2 volumes, killing the idea of truth in advertising).  According to this article, in the SOED, Bumble-bee is now bumblebee, ice-cream is ice cream and pot-belly is pot belly. They blame it on the Internet age, the need for speed, and above all, lack of confidence in people about how to use the hyphen in the first place. This reminds me of the spirited discussions I would have with copywriters and editorial assistants about “online”. Even back in the day, I saw it as one word, and pushed to make our style guide free of “on-line” and, even worse, “on line”. I do see problems with longer words that don’t go together being squished into one - Pidgeonhole is just crying out for a hyphen, if you ask me.

From my experience with copy editors and production assistants, I’m certain that there will be much discussion and debate about this. Something to keep in mind if you’re an author waiting for a word back from someone at a publishing house.

 

Big Brother or Caring Mother?

In my experiments in social networking, I have noticed that a lot of kids from my little town are on Facebook and Myspace.  For instance, I found the Facebook page for a high school girl who interned in my daughter’s elementary school class this past year, so I added her as a friend.  Then I got to thinking….is it creepy for a 30+ woman to have a high schooler as a “friend”?  I’ve talked to her some, seen her in the park, so I’m not a stranger.  But if I were her parent, would I want other moms in the ‘hood adding her as a friend?  As I delve into these sites more, I’m finding these same kids are involved in various groups and cliques online that relate to their class at school or their social group - one in particular that got me talking is populated by the lifeguards at my swim club.  All I can say about that is if anyone on the board of directors knew what they were saying about the club and the patrons, they would probably fire the lot of them.  I know through a neighbor that several school board members have established Facebook accounts, but they haven’t figured out a true purpose for it - are they spying, or are they going in to get involved and be a presense on these sites. 

 I’m wondering…

* What is appropriate for adults do to in terms of interacting with kids you know on social networking sites?  Does my friend want me as a friend of her high schooler, or would that be creepy?

*Could you or rather should you join groups that kids who interact with your kids interact on?  Should I be in the class of ‘08 group?  Do I need to know that the senior class is planning a “cut 7th period day” in October?

* If you find something that is objectionable, do you tell about it?  Should I tell someone from my pool club what the lifeguards really think about their manager?  Is it on a basis of harm done/no harm done that one should act?  I think if I saw a kid who looked like they were in danger, or about to lash out at another, I would tell someone, but for more innocent stuff, do I bother?

Used correctly, these sites could help a parent stay involved in a kid’s life.  Used incorrectly, you could have the opposite effect, and drive kids away and cause them to go into hiding, or worse.   What is the proper netiquette in these situations?  Where is Emily Post when you really need her?