The Devil Wore Talbots

During my recent vacation, I found myself watching a lot of movies on the gazillion movie channels in our condo.  One of them that I watched almost the whole way through was “The Devil Wears Prada.”  I really enjoyed the book as an escapist read, and the movie fits the bill as well.  If you’ve seen my LinkedInprofile, you’ll see that I refer to my first job as my own Devil Wears Prada experience, except without all the fabulous clothes.  I haven’t explained exactly why that is, until now. 

I often tell people that I am very satisfied with my life as it is right now, and as such, cannot imagine having any regrets about things I’ve done in the past, because those actions might now have let me to the place where I am now.   That said, I do wonder what would have happened if I gave more thought to the job search out of college.  The recruiters who came to campus were interested in business majors.  The only companies who would interview a pleasant History major like myself were retail, and that wasn’t of interest to me.  I had no job when I graduate college, so I took a summer job with Hampton Jitney, working in the reservations office and as a “coach attendant”.  Seriously, I could fill an entire blog with anecdotes about the regular folks and celebrities who made my summer more entertaining than most, but that’s not really why we’re here.  I worked there through the summer, had a blast, and decided I would stay at my family’s house there through the fall into winter.  The Jitney folks were kind enough to extend my job, and not do a summer layoff on me, but Mother IT was not accepting of that idea.  No, I had to put on my Brooks Brothers business suit my dad bought me the year before and head to the big city and look for a “real job.”

Not at lot of preparation or research went into this.  It was the 80’s and employment agencies weren’t exactly clamoring for more college graduates to have to place in jobs.  When it came down to it, I settled on two job choices - a scheduler at a “fashion” (boy, do I use that term loosely) house and a sales assistant role at a magazine company.  Since big dream was to work at an ad agency (just like in “thirtysomething”!), that latter one seemed close, so hello sales assistant job at Diamandis Communicaitons Inc.

DCI was a company spun off off Ziff Davis and CBS magazines.  It was headed by Peter Diamandis, a great entrepreneur, who just before I joined agreed to sell DCI to Hachette Publications for beaucoups bucks.  The company was in transition, but I wasn’t nearly savvy enough to realize that.  When I started, I was one of two assistants to 25 sales reps and about 5 senior managers.  We had a direct manager, Dave, who I got along with really well at the interview. I thought, this is great, I’m going to have a super mentor, and work hard and move up through the ranks.  In reality, I lasted 7 months.

There were a couple of things that made the job challenging.  First, the whole first assistant, second assistant thing so memorably portrayed in the movie.  There was no such structure, but V, the other assistant, saw a green kid just out of school and decided to put it into place.  Dave, our manager, was mentally checked out and would resign 3 weeks after I started, so I didn’t know otherwise.  Audrey, his replacement, was a nut job who was fired 2 months after starting, hitting <ctrl><alt><del> on her computer on the way out before security got her.  So we were kind of on our own.  I certainly accepted the fact that V was there longer, and I could learn things about the organization from her, but taking management direction from someone who had not even graduated high school was not something I was going to do.  But she acted just like Emily in the movie, delegating her tasks to me, and enjoying having someone to boss around.  When B., the VP in charge of the division called, V. jumped, running after her with steno pad in hand to listen to her every need and then dump them on me.  A girl who never drank coffee before was challenged, even in the pre-Starbucks days, by having to get the right language down to order B’s coffee, just like in the book/movie. 

B was a character in herself.  Reeking of Calvin Klein’s Eternity and swathed in the latest Hermes scarves, neatly tucked into her shoulder padded epaulets (it was the 80s, remember?), she would inspire terror in all who worked in the division.  But not me.  Even though I was taught to fear her, I never could.  I spent a week working directly for her when her executive admin was promoted into a new job and grew to respect her.  She was a woman of power in a male-heavy company, not an easy thing to do.  She was fair, and someone who I learned a lot from.  My Miranda, if you will, and I began to up the wardrobe ante and dress like her.  I stopped going to the Limited and frequented Talbots and Lord & Taylor.  Oh, I look back on pictures now and see how ridiculous I looked in those shoulder pads and scarves, but you could see a look in my eyes that said I was going to go places.  Ah, youth.  I think she respected me as well.  She put up with my endless questioning about how I could progress with the company, and even came to my going-away party at a dingy bar in the theater district, to the shock of my co-workers there.

I have to say, if it wasn’t for the IT head of the division, a guy named Andy Kehoe, I never would have made it out of there, nor found myself in the career path that I am in today.  Andy found me an old IBM PC so I didn’t have to use the IBM selectric to write sales letters to clients.  He encouraged me to read the DOS manual and the “bird book” to understand how PCs worked so I could have a new skill.  He taught me how to mix a perfect dry martini.  He was more of a mentor and support system than anyone in that place, and for all he did for me, I am eternally grateful.  No idea where he is today, or I would tell him myself. 

Watching that movie, I could see in Andy the me of 20 years ago.  It’s amazing how much of those 7 months came to mind when seeing it.  Good grief it was 20 years ago this fall that I took that job.  I certainly dreamed I would be in a better job, with a better life, and it’s happened, a combination of hard work and luck.  Just don’t expect me to put “second assistant” on a resume, LinkedIn or otherwise. 

If I was a font…

And now for something completely different

Dear friends and family,

Hi, it’s Ellen. How are ya?  The family is all doing great.  I’m writing this because I have a few things I really need to get off my chest.

You know those emails you keep sending me?  The ones about that kid with cancer in England who needs the get well cards to get into the Guiness Book, or the ones with the credit card scams?  How about that poem written by the terminally ill child that’s oh so sentimental.  I’m so happy that you want to keep in touch, but you need to understand a few things about how these things go down. 

First, before you send along an email about something that sounds not quite right, get thee immediately to snopes.com.  Also known as “The Urban Legend Reference Page”, this site can help you verify that what you are sending along is actually true.  That would save me from deciding whether or not to boycott Starbucks because they refused to send product to Iraq (they didn’t), if I should beware of the “life is beautiful” computer virus (there isn’t one) or if I should hit the road to find missing kids Evan Trembly or Ashley Flores (they’re not missing, and probably not even real).   Seriously, I still get a Craig Shergold message at least twice a year, and they’re just no excuse for that.   

I’ve also Googled things before, to see if they are scams or not, if I can’t find them in snopes.  That works too.

What if you’re sending a “Moms are special” or “You are a wonderful person because you’re my friend note”?  Don’t bother.  If you haven’t realized by now, I am a cynical beeyotch and will not appreciate these.  How many times do I have to say “No squishy!” before people believe me?

Chain letter?  I’ll hunt you down and shave your pets if you even think of saddling me with one of those karma-bombs. 

Now, let’s say you have a really funny joke, picture or video you think I will enjoy.  I do get these every once in a while, and have been known to appreciate them.  For instance, my dad sent me one on a particular political candidate today that gave me great joy.  Go ahead, give it a try.  But do me one favor tho - delete all the “forward” stuff at the beginning of the email.  I don’t feel very special if I see this has been forwarded by about 20 other people to 250 addresses.  I don’t want to be a cog in the machine, you see.  I want to think this was just for me.  Plus, if I have to page down more than 6 times, I probably will delete the message altogether.   If I can get in, laugh, and get out in under a minute, it is a beautiful thing indeed.

Love, your email buddy,

Ellen

Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before

When I started this blog, I really wasn’t sure what form it would take.  I watched how our publisher Joe Wikert went from starting a blog at the insistence of author Robert Scoble (because how could he sign with a publishing house where the publisher wasn’t blogging) to finding his voice and making a positive contribution in the blogosphere.  I wanted the same kind of relevance, but at the same time felt that his message wasn’t going to be my message.  Sure, I work in book publishing, and I have a lot of views on the state of the industry and content development, but it’s not all that I am about.  Soon after I set up the blog, I attended BlogHer, and saw that blogs really did come in all shapes and sizes, and the most important thing to do is find your passion.  Which, for the most part, is what I strive to do.  This isn’t solely a publishing blog, or a mommy blog, or a social media blog.  It’s Ellen’s blog, and that means it’s all things Ellen.  I’m going to talk about trends in book publishing and in the next breath gripe about how hard it is to set up a playdate.  Because that’s my life, and if I can’t blog about my life, what else is there? 

There is however one part of my life that I haven’t talked about, and that’s because it involved IT Boy.  I’ve alluded to some things about his life, but I haven’t really told the full tale, which up until now I’ve been comfortable with.  He’s going through some things, but to respect his privacy, I haven’t blogged about them.  Something happened recently that made me reconsider my stance on that.

Last week, I encountered someone in a store shopping with her son, who looked to be about 6 months old.  She saw IT Boy and asked how old he was and was he walking.  I answered that he is 14 months old, and no, he isn’t walking.  I’m not sure why those words always come out of someone’s mouth when asking about my son.  It’s a litmus test that I don’t recall signing up for and I usually answer with a scowl on my face.  In this case, however, the woman had a reason for asking.  She’s felt her son was a bit, in her words, floppy, and isn’t making any of his milestones, and her doctor suggested she have him evaluated.  She was at a loss, and had no idea what to do next.  Upon hearing this, my tone did a 180 and I sat down with her and explained the process that we went through when IT Boy was 3 months old and that continues to this day.  She was so grateful to hear from someone who had been there and done that, which I have.  She said she was searching on the Internet and didn’t find much.  I told to her to stop searching WebMD and Wikipedia and all those sites until she got him evaluated and she knew what they were dealing with.  We parted with her taking down my phone and email, with a promise to call after the evaluation.

She found herself in a place that I know all too well.  IT Boy was always a bit floppy and it didn’t really concern me all that much.  His doctor remarked about it visit after visit, and we had many at first, and suggested we put him through Early Intervention (EI) at 4 months if his situation did not improve.  I wasn’t overly concerned, even though as time went on he wasn’t hitting all his milestones.  It wasn’t until we took him to another doctor in the practice who asked who in EI had evaluated him and we had to say we were not planning on putting him into EI until 4 months that the panic button went off.  The other doctor said this was a low tone child who needed help pronto.  That led to the first phonecall with EI, and the beginning of the adventure that continues to this day.

I’m certainly not claiming to be an expert on hypotonia or early intervention, but what I am is a parent who is going through a situation that others might be facing.  I can help others by talking about how we have faced things and the choices we’ve made.   In fact, the same day I decided to do this, my co-worker IMed me to say that her friend was told by her doctor that her child was floppy - what did that mean, what should she do, etc etc.  She wasn’t finding anything helpful online, and she was panicking.  Gee, I know exactly how she feels!

So, consider this a heads up that “Confessions” will be talking about something new and hopefully helping others in the process.  My game plan is to talk about how and when to make the initial contact with EI (that’s what it’s called in NY, but it has other names elsewhere) to begin the process, how the process worked, and how we came up with a treatment plan for my son that we continue to follow.  We’re not out of the woods, but the good news is that it is helping IT Boy who is making great strides, literally and figuratively.  He’s still not walking yet, but I bet he will beat his neurologist’s prediction of 20-24 months.  Sometimes a mother just knows, you know?

Fancy meeting you here

My thanks to Katie for informing me about the “blog stats” feature on WordPress. I had been using Sitemeter, but that service gives you different feedback than WordPress itself can provide.

The most fascinating thing for me to see is what search terms are bringing people to this site. Some make total sense - searchers wondering how to get a book published, if they need an agent, or searching on a specific book. Some are the result of words in the blog that mean nothing to the overall blog - for instance, a large number of people last week looking for “pot-belly girl”. After my initial alarm, I realized that term was in an entry about hyphens. However, I assure you that I am not her, so if you seek her, look elsewhere.

There is another trend that I want to address. There are a disturbing amount of people, most probably men, but to be fair, not limited to that gender, searching for “things to say to a girl.” This search term, as well as similar ones, are leading people to this site at an alarming rate - at least 5x per day. I fear….well, to be fair, I fear a number of things here. I fear for the people who need this information. I fear that they are not finding answers here. And I fear for why exactly they want this info in the first place.

So, dear blog reader who needs to know how to talk to girls, I’d like to provide you with some suggestions that might prove useful to you. First off, I’m not the typical girl. I’m an IT Girl (see header of blog). I’m the type of girl who will talk you out of the 48″ HDTV and talk you into spending a measly $300 more for the 52″ screen. I’m the type of girl who will take a conversation about a potted plant on a book cover into a 5 minute long”Bring me a shrubbery!” routine. I’m the type of girl who has a complete set of dice at home in case a quick game of D&D breaks out in the ‘hood. I’m the type of girl who is so excited to find a cool “red” shirt to wear to a Red Bulls game that she forgets it’s actually corporate swag:

Too dorky for words, I know.   As soon as I saw myself in a mirror, I bought a Red Bulls shirt, which corrected the dork infraction. 

Despite this, I believe that there are some things that all women have in common, and as such, I do feel that I can offer advice to those of you looking for advice on how to talk to girls. And my advice is this - don’t focus as much on what to say to her, focus on what *she* is saying. There’s rarely much more important for a woman than to feel like someone is listening to her. Ask her questions about her day, her job, her interests, whatever. Really listen to her responses. You’ll hopefully find yourself in a meaningful conversation in no time. What she will remember is that you cared enough to ask, which is probably the best thing that someone can say to a girl.  For even if all she did was talk about herself non-stop while you nod your head, she’ll probably remember that as a good thing.  Especially if you find yourself *not* talking about action figures, 20-sided dice, and Halo 3.

If others, male or female, geek or not, have suggestions as well, I’m open to posting them.  Let’s help our fellow Internet searchers today!

Social Networking a go-go

In my last post, Facebook vs. MySpace « Confessions of an IT Girl, Constance took the time to post comments and they seemed worthy of a blog entry of their own.

To take a step back, I’ve been playing with Facebook and Myspace, and in reality, it’s been just that.  Myspace was fun at first, but in reality, it’s hard to get any sort of meaningful professional or even personal message out on the site.  Not just from the look and feel being more juvenille than what you can present in a proper skin on Blogger or WordPress, but from all the ads that scream out at you.   Yes, you can have a blog on Myspace, but it’s cumbersome and as a business person, it doesn’t come off very well.  I’m sure there are ways to promote books through the site, but it’s better suited to an author wanting to do it herself rather than a publisher advertising a line of wares. 

Facebook seems like more than a place to blow off steam right now.  The application development seems promising - I can envison setting up an app to “throw” a book at someone that has a bunch of Dummies books to choose from.  It’s cutesy, but again, not something that I can forsee using for a lot of professional networking or promotion.  I think if you are promoting a book or a series, you have to take a look at the audience you are trying to reach, and if they are on one or another, that’s where you have to be.  If they’re on both, it’s more of a call as to whether you dilluate yourself and your message by being on both.  For my personal fun or whatever you want to call it, Myspace seems like so much work, so it’s going to happen organically that I spend more time on Facebook as I continue to evolve my online presense. 

The social networking site that is billed for professional networking is LinkedIn, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out what purpose it serves.  I’ve set up networking, been introduced to new people, but for what gain?  Book promotion? Not at all.  No way to see if someone is a reader or not.  Career networking?  Maybe, but the search feature doesn’t work efficiently enough to find someone in my desired line of work to make a contact (if I wanted to, which I don’t).  I’ve ended up with a list of 50 or so people I am “connected” to.  I’ve looked at who they are connected to, to see if there is a contact that someone could make for me, which is billed as a key feature of LinkedIn.  It still doesn’t seem like something I couldn’t do for myself, on or off line.  I really feel like there is more to it that I am missing, but there seems to be no “there” there.  If anyone feels that they are using it effectively, and to a purpose that it is billed to fulfill, PLEASE let me know. 

So, I come back to “Confessions”.  This blog seems to be the place where I can have the most impact with my professional and personal goals.  I can talk about my job, if anyone cares to read about it; interact with colleagues and customers; and in general, have a lot more flexibility than any other social networking site offers.   I’ve struggled for a while with what I want this blog to be, and hearing from others at BlogHer taught me that the best thing to do is to get in there and start writing.  I’ve had a personal family blog for almost a year now, and that’s gotten me into the habit of thinking and writing, which has been a warm up for this blog. 

At this point, anything that gets me thinking, writing, and thinking more is a really good thing. 

Facebook vs. MySpace

As if I was even cool enough (enuf?) to be having this discussion.

Part of my job marketing technology books enables me having more than a passing knowledge of the latest and greatest in social networking sites.  So for the past few months, I’ve been playing around with Myspace.  It’s been good but certainly at times it’s been more of a chore than a joy.  Recently, I started poking around Facebook.  The headaches I was getting from flashing pop up ads, music blaring at me from profiles, and color combinations that should only be seen in Limited Too stores went away.  Facebook is clean and sleek.  It’s also a lot easier to do stuff.  I don’t find it slows down the way Myspace does at certain peak hours.  To top it all, the joys of being able to throw a sheep at someone top anything I’ve seen on Myspace.  And pirates!  I can be a pirate wench on Facebook.  None of that on MurdochSpace.  Myspace is more appropriate for corporate marketing, but many of my “friends” seem to be inactive on there, with more than a few setting up beachheads on Facebook.   Of course, when the “kids” find something new, they’ll probably head to off that (see Friendster, demise). 

 All in all, it seems I’ll be spending more time on Facebook.  Certainly wish I had something like it when I was in school. 

Publishing Careers

Joe Wikert just blogged about a new blog called Publishing Careers.  

That got me thinking.  It’s the season of the summer intern here at Wiley, and if we haven’t scared these youngins away, they might actually think about a job, even a career in this crazy mixed up business. I for one wholeheartedly enjoy having the kiddies around. Yes, I feel older and older when I am around them, but they are enthusastic, eager to help out, and give us the opportunity to learn new things. Yes, you heard me right. Interns are a great way to figure out what the next generation of customers wants in a product and how they’re going to learn about it. The intern working with the marketing department spent a whole lunch hour showing me Facebook.  After he got over the initial horror of thinking of me using Facebook, he realized that I was not interested in pretending I was a 21 year old college student and saw that I wanted to understand how students were using this site.  The full time Marketing staff recently completed a round of online advertising and marketing training, and if I learned anything, it’s that we have to make sure the junior members of the marketing teams are listened to.  They are the ones on the social networking sites, the wikis, and the like.  They’re the ones that get what’s happening now online.  That’s my best advice for people wanting to keep up with new technologies - figure out what your interns and assistant level staff members are doing, and then make them teach YOU.